I might not be the most out-spoken feminist, but occasionally I find womanhood--despite its perks--very trying and unfair.

So, feeling nervous about entering the employment market as a young married woman, I decided to do some research on work/life balance, discrimination against women, discrimination against pregnant women, and discrimination against married women. Rather than assuage my fears, this research confirmed that they are, in fact, valid. I'll certainly get a long enough paper out of it (what kind of student would I be if research to satisfy my curiosity didn't also satisfy a class requirement?), but I'm afraid I'll make myself even more pessimistic in the process.

I had this horrible vision a month or so ago that, when I began interviewing for jobs next year, I'd have to dodge questions meant to probe to find out if I was married and if I planned on popping out children any time soon. I imagined having to remove my wedding and engagement rings for interviews and having to lie about my husband...

And it turns out that I may have to do all of that. Every book says so. Every article says that women are forced to choose: family OR career. There's no "and," especially when women--despite having careers like their husbands--remain the primary care-givers and housekeepers. Men have difficulty balancing family and career, but at least they are not looked at as financial risks if they're married or considered diseased if they're expecting a kid (have you noticed how insurance forms say "pregnancy or other illnesses"?).

How, too, can I go through interviews pretending that career is everything? Because the truth is...I will eventually have a kid, nature willing, and if something doesn't change--if the workplace isn't adjusted to allow mothers to be mothers and productive workers, too--then my attention will be divided, probably more so than a working father. I am a financial risk, I suppose...

Should'a been born in Norway.