A Return (Hopefully)

It occurred to me today that, the way my life is going, I will leave no mark on the world whatsoever, and when I die I will sink into oblivion, forgotten by all but a few people within a few years of my passing. It was this thought that spurred me to check in with my blog, which I'd all but erased from my memory, as I used it as an outlet during a particularly difficult and embarrassing time in my life. I remembered, however, that my blog also served as a tool to strengthen my composition skills and connected me with a community of my peers, and I thought that maybe this could be a way to work my way back to the ambitious and creative person I believe I was seven years ago.

That's asking a lot of an online journal--I realize this--but I have to start somewhere.

So, what caused this existential crisis? I had a baby. If you quit reading now, I understand. Anything I write here will, inevitably, have something to do with pregnancy or parenthood, and I get that it's a turn-off for many, and boring for many others. I am aware that it's unlikely I'll break any new ground in mommy blogdom, even though I am convinced that my experience is unique. The problem is that every other mother is also convinced her experience is unique, and so many mothers are also writers. Despite the fact that I know I won't be doing anything new here, I still feel that I have something to say, and I want to say it where somebody might stumble upon it and identify with it. I could just write everything in yet another google document, or I could attempt to record it in my journal while breastfeeding (a tricky maneuver), but then it would sink into nothingness (just like I will when I die, see?).

All right, that's my big "I'm back" speech. Except it's not a speech, since I'm writing it and not saying it. Whatever. Hi again, everyone (read: no one).