You see, on my wedding day it really felt as though some higher power had caused every piece to fall into its appropriate place. Nearly every piece, anyway. I quit vomiting mere hours before our rehearsal (long story), the called-for snow never made its appearance, the day dawned clear and sunny, my friends arrived just in time to help me get ready (and my hair turned out perfectly--had it not, we wouldn't have had time to fix it), everyone found the church even though I forgot to give them all directions, the sun was setting as we drove to the rehearsal (with just a few snowflakes falling), and the first song we danced to just happened to be (coincidentally) the first song I played for Jeremiah on my violin two years ago at a party for the class in which we met. Nothing went wrong, and we couldn't have asked for a better day, except perhaps to have been able to share the event with those who could not be there.
So, our wedding awakened my somewhat dormant faith in God (it was there, just not prominent). But then this week... I began to wonder (and this is where the cliche eternal question comes in) why we deserved to have such a beautiful day and such a worry-free and happy life when equally deserving (or more deserving) people suffer daily. Why was I allowed to have this day that felt coordinated by a greater power, when a fellow student had the opportunity of a golden wedding day stolen from her? How could I feel that God smiled on our day if, theoretically, he allowed something so awful to happen to another person very similar to me? If I believe in God and I believe that he can interfere in a positive way (with such coincidences as the song and the sunset we'd talked about months ago), it follows that I must believe he refrained from interfering in the life of an abducted and murdered girl.
I'd rather believe He never interferes at all than believe that. Maybe all of the happy coincidences on our wedding day were just that: happy coincidences. Or maybe collective will can cause weather to change and things to go as planned. I doubt I'll ever figure it out...
1 comment:
There are times like those, when things just fall into place. And there are times when all the wrong things that have happened seem to have happened for a reason. Sometimes there might just be a guardian angel.
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