I guess I don't deal well with change. During the semester, I could mostly ignore it, but in summer when I play housewife on most days (enjoying this quite a bit) I have time to think about what's different.
In the past year, my priorities have completely changed. My beloved parents have been with me through it all, approving of my boyfriend and understanding when I can't visit for quite as long because of work and [lack of] money. It makes me wish I'd dug in somewhere closer to home, so that I could buy the gas to go see them...however, I must accept for now what I cannot change.
The dingy rusted lining to this wonderful year--because it has been wonderful; I found companionship, my best friend got married to a great guy, and a quirky but charming cat joined my family--is that I no longer feel approved of by everybody. It could be entirely my imagination (it isn't), but I feel the frustration from old friends that I can't just hop in the car and drive to them anymore now that mom and dad aren't funding me and I have "we" to think about rather than just "me," and I feel their dislike for my boyfriend and the time I spend with him.
Of course, I have some wonderful friends that have been patient with me and understanding of the shifts in my life, and my love for them has grown exponentially this year because of that.
About Me
- Katherine
- Clarksburg, West Virginia, United States
- A corporate peon trying to maintain some connection to the academic/intellectual world (and preserve some family history in the process, of course).
1 comment:
Hey! You updated!
I feel like a perceived sense of how others approve of you correlates well with the nature of friendships (both in quality and quantity) and in terms of social goals. Back in freshman year, I wanted to friend everybody, know everybody, and meet as many people as possible, only to eventually realize that I only care about 6% of them. I've come to realize, especially now as an ancient senior (haha) that of course, friendships come and go, that I shouldn't be bogged down if one fades away--it happens too frequently for geographical and other reasons. But back to what I was saying, the older I get, the fewer actual friends I have, despite my propensity to meet hordes of new people on weekends. The moment I started realizing and accepting the nature of 94% of friendships (I'm not too sure why I've picked the numbers I have), was when I started dealing with the change you've mentioned with much more ease. That change is simply a part of life--some people are a little more sentimental than others. And in the end, it also helps delineate who actually matters and who doesn't--it makes you value your real friends more. Honestly, I probably less than 5 real friends.
Hope you're doing well. I'm in an endless shitstorm of studying. I'm in Blacksburg though, so maybe after my MCAT (June 18th) we should get coffee or something. It's been a while.
Post a Comment